Daddy Issues

There are two holidays that Americans celebrate that I believe are two of the most painful days of the year. These two days have become reminders of our personal failures, the failures of those who were suppose to be there for us, those who were suppose to protect us, those who were suppose to love us, those who were suppose to play with us, those who were suppose to push us on the swing at the playground, those who were suppose to protect us from bad dates, etc. (I believe I could have extended that for an hour). Anyway, the two holidays are Mother's Day and Father's Day.

America has some serious daddy issues.

There is no doubt that there's probably ten-thousand Christian bloggers writing about Ephesians 6:1-4, and there will be probably triple that amount of pastors who will do the shame thing in their pulpits this Sunday.   Shame the fathers for not being what God has called them to be.... that will teach them.

Not really, but that doesn't mean that we don't use hard words in order to teach them the hard truths.  Personally I believe there is a big difference in shaming someone, and using hard words that are biblical truths.  Hard words that are built on real Truth will drive people to repentance, or further harden their hearts. There is a big difference in shaming someone and teaching them hard truths.

I want to focus briefly, although I would like for it to be much more exhaustive, on Psalm 127:3-5

Behold,  children are a heritage from the  Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of  a warrior are the children  of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.


I heard Pastor Douglas Wilson making a passing comment on this verse at a family conference earlier this year, "fathers who abdicate their responsibilities, will one day be ran through with their own arrows".  Pastor Wilson was making a simple yet profound point that your children are a blessing, but they can also be your curse. 

 Fathers who raise their children in the wisdom of the Lord, to honor their mother, this is done by loving their children's mother; fathers he love the children in discipline, who teach them, respect them, protect them, I believe can fully expect their sons and son-in-laws to stand with them in the times of trouble, defend them when they are too old to defend themselves.  However fathers that don't do what they are supposed to do as fathers can expect to own day be taken out by one of their own arrows.

Traitors are made and not born.  

If you've been that poor father,repent to your children. Whether they are young or they are old, God can restore the worst of any situation.  If you've been the good father, thank God and pray that you don't become puffed up with pride.

There are loads of things I could continue to say, but think this short post has said enough.

Here is a good read by Mark Driscoll 7 Ways Fathers Provoke their Children.

For those who find these two days to be painful reminders, I pray that you'll find peace and use these days as reminders to pray for your father and your mother.  No matter what your individual story is, you are still called to honor them. If you are a Christian, the best thing for you to do is honor them in even simple ways. This of course would take a book to cover, but lets just say, there are checks and balances, there are limitations to what this means depending on your individual story.

Grace and Peace,

Douglas Herron